Chorus:
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert
Evelyn:
I want a party to remember
The best of this New York December
Fabulous and perfect fact
A party no one will forget
The catering will be sublime
Luis:
One of those waiters is more than fine
Evelyn:
I hope the guests will be impressed
At least I won’t be underdressed
Chorus:
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert
Mistletoe, mistletoe alert
Patrick:
The holidays are a difficult time for me
So I prepare for the coming onslaught of eggnog and office parties
Of shopping and ice-skating
With copious amounts of drugs and alcohol
To dull the screaming
Evelyn:
And if the party starts to waver
I hope someone brings party favours
Or at least something risqué
A little naughty
Luis:
Or a little gay
Courtney:
You look like shit
Are you OK
Patrick:
I think it’s too much red
It’s making me anxious
Courtney:
Are you on something
Patrick:
I think I may be hallucinating
Courtney:
Well, then, find a bathroom, Bateman
Splash some water on your face, throw up, do something
Patrick:
Yeah, yeah, I’ll see you in hell, mother****er
I’ll put some X in the eggnog
Wait for a while
The girls relax
All the girls start to smile
I’ll open a gram
Watch them go
Now you see why Santa
Loves the snow
Some ****ing leaves
Above the door
Can’t wait until the girls
Are nailed to the floor