Lyrics: Dave C. Seager Colin-a-Dell? Yes, I've known him well Since the day he was born with his shock all shorn He shot from the womb like a corpse from a tomb Gave a hideous yell as if casting a spell A peculiar chap - they made him a cap Of leather and lead to squat square on his head Fain did his brain run like rain down a drain Perhaps 'twas queer cap made him querulous, poor chap At school he was quick, much like wax from the wick Dissected a lizard, was elected a wizard His college he scandalized with the knowledge he'd vandalized His trick with a stick nicked the Dean's knickers thick When pretty well growed he befriended a toad City roads would they roam until late wending home Under endings of moon, soon they'd send up a croon About what no-one knowed, all rendered in code Bad went to worse, he fashioned a hearse From a farmer's wagon, tethered to a dragon Feathered his bed with the fleece of the dead And with cursings terse nursed his bursting purse An improbable tale, no nearer the pale Then a kettle of fish in a teacup, I wish 'Twere not wholly true, just an unwholesome brew Over some gruesome ale, but it's true as a nail ... (Lyrics by Dave C. Seager)