Music: Meredith Willson
No wide-eyed, eager, wholesome innocent Sunday school teacher for me
That kinda girl spins webs no spider ever—
Listen, boy—
A girl who trades on all that purity merely wants to trade my independence for her security
The only affirmative she will file refers to marching down the aisle
No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess, no, sir!
For no Diana do I play faun, I can tell you that right now
I snarl, I hiss, how can ignorance be compared to bliss?
I spark, I fizz, for the lady who knows what time it is
I cheer, I rave, for the virtue I'm too late to save
The sadder but wiser girl for me
No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby-doll baby, no, sir!
That kinda girl ties knots no sailor ever knew
I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance
No dewy young miss who keeps resisting
All the time she keeps insisting
No wide-eyed, wholesome innocent female, no, sir!
Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish, you see? Plop!
I flinch, I shy, when the lass with the delicate air goes by
I smile, I grin, when the gal with a touch of sin walks in
I shout, "At last!"
For the lady with a bitter past
The sadder-but-wiser girl's the girl for me
The sadder-but-wiser girl for me
No darling, adorable, true bein' chickadee, no, sir!
Not for me
You'll wake up in a coop some morning to a cackle no rooster ever crooned
I select a little more warily, forever mine, forever true, but temporarily
The rainbow always goes away to come again some other day
No wide-eyed, eager, wholesome innocent female, no, sir!
Her victims fall like apples from her tree. Plop!
I flinch, I shy, I smile, I grin
I hope, I pray, for Hester to win just one more "A"
Woo! Here we go, Greg!
Come on!
The sadder-but-wiser girl's the girl for me
The sadder-but-wiser girl for me