Lyrics: LightSw1tch/damson
Music: LightSw1tch/damson
Producer: LightSw1tch/damson/nkmusic
Arranger: damson/nkmusic
Supervisor: 慕凡
I derive my sense from being a victim
我总觉得自己是受害者
Verses I wrote turn me into a sorrow bitch
写歌词的时候把自己弄得像个怨妇
Every bullet I shoot is a hollow tip
我甚至不知道我的怒火宣泄到了何处
I just want love andthat's it
我想要的只是爱，只有爱
Tell me that you love me, tell me that you care
快说你爱我，快说你在乎
Tell me thatyou'll catch me when I melt in the air
当我要化掉的时候，找个瓶把我装起来吧
Tell me that you want me, tell me that you near
快说你要我，说你不离开
Tell me that your soul open when shadows leer
想要你向我敞开心扉，当黑暗要吞噬我
Trauma- inducedmaturity's killing me
我受够了烂事倒逼出来的所谓“成长”
You wanted someone to lean on, butI'm a piece of broke reed
你想要一个靠得住的人，但我差太远了
Smoke at the window eats my lungs and vision
窗边点颗烟，侵蚀我的肺和视线
Isolation, in the midst of a mirage
恍惚间被幻象从现实中隔开
Different masks, different missions, switch between identities
几副面具下，变换的情景，不同的角色
It's squeezing my energy, tweaking my memory
压榨我的精力，扰乱我的记忆
I see stories unfold, I think it was never me
眼前闪过的片段里，我并没有参演
But the bitter, I can taste realistically
却能品味到其中苦涩
So I gotta, jot this shit down, and put it in...
于是我，写下这些，把它们放进…
Dear Diary
亲爱的日记
This is my first time writing
这是我第一次见你
Pleasure to meet you
很高兴认识你
Hope it won’ t be bothering
希望不会打扰你
It’ s been a ****ed up day
今天真是糟透了
My mood’ s been in my way
情绪一直在和我作对
Nothing goes my way
什么都不顺
I don’ t want no school no more, cuz they’ re always at my face
我再也不想上学了，他们总是对着我指指点点
Screaming everyday, I feel nothing but hate
每天都在吼，我心里只剩下恨
They saying they love me, but what kinda love is it
他们说他们爱我，可这算什么爱
They tryna control me in everything, but they don’ t even know me
他们想控制我的一切，却根本不了解我
One time, in office
有一次，在办公室
They asked me to write my dream on a paper
他们让我把梦想写在纸上
I wrote singer, they laughed about it
我写了“歌手”，他们却笑了
Criticized about it
对我指指点点
Saying I’ m never gon make it
说我永远不可能成功
Better for me to stay on papers
说我还是专心在书本里比较好
Man **** them papers
去他妈的书本
They never read me on papers
他们从来没在书本里读懂过我
My class teacher, don’ t like her
我的班主任，我不喜欢她
Cuz one time, she slapped me with a book
因为有一次她拿书拍我
On my head, first time to feel the weight of knowledge
拍在我头上，那是我第一次感到“知识的重量”
Adrenaline and my nerves told me something was wrong
肾上腺素和神经都在告诉我不对劲
But looked around, someone way worse
可我看了看四周，有人更惨
He got dragged out of the classroom, cuz he didn’ t finish his work
他因为没完成作业，被拖出了教室
It was all silence, no words
全场一片寂静，没有一句话
You could even hear a pin drop
安静到能听见针掉在地上
When I made it home, I was still in shock
我回到家时，整个人还在震惊中
But no time to react,
但根本没时间反应
I got a teacher waiting
还有个老师在等我
My tutoring lessons, that’ s how you get better
我的补习课，他们说这样才能变好
And better, and better
越来越好
Than everyone else,
比所有人都好
My nature disagrees
可我的天性不认同
Was up by11
晚上十一点还醒着
Doing work, I’ m only ten
写着作业，我才十岁
They told me sufferings build a man
他们说苦难能造就男人
Some shit I don’ t understand
有些话我不懂
But one thing I do understand
但有一件事我很清楚
They never make me perfect
他们从没让我变得完美
Dear Diary
亲爱的日记
I’ m thinking what’ s perfection
我在想，什么是完美
Is it100 percent on a test?
是考试一百分吗？
What if I’ m ain’ t the best
如果我不是最好的呢
A kid in my class
我班里有个孩子
I heard his story
我听过他的故事
One time, his mom was shouting and beating him in the public
有一次，他妈妈在公共场合对他又吼又打
The more tear he dropped, the louder it got
他哭得越多，声音就越大
More people came
围观的人越来越多
His mom didn’ t stop, his tears flowed like a river
他妈妈没有停下，他的眼泪像河一样流
Maybe that’ s why he’ s a dick
也许这就是他变成混蛋的原因
The anger from his family passed over to him
家庭里的愤怒转移到了他身上
He did some terrible things the other day
前几天他做了很糟糕的事
He framed my bro and I for making a mess in class
他栽赃我和我兄弟，说我们在教室捣乱
The teacher wasn’ t there, so she asked who did it
老师不在，她回来后问是谁干的
“ It was these two people”
“就是这两个人”
He pointed my bro and I
他指着我和我兄弟
Speechless, like a tape on my mouth
我们说不出话，像嘴被胶带封住
The teacher believed it
老师相信了他
Cuz he had a better grade than both of us probably
可能因为他的成绩比我们都好
No matter how hard we tried to explain
不管我们怎么解释
Screamed at the top of our lungs
用尽全力去喊
Teacher didn’ t listen
老师都不听
Returned home
回到家
Talked to my mom
跟我妈妈说了
So did my friend
我朋友也是
Same night, both of our moms had to call each other
那天晚上，我们的妈妈互相通了电话
They were both pissed, so was I
她们都很生气，我也是
It made me understand how much a family effects a person
这让我明白家庭对一个人的影响有多大
My mom was supportive, that made a difference
我妈支持我，这便是不同之处
Sometimes I couldn’ t even trust myself for what I’ m hearing
有时候我甚至不敢相信自己听到的东西
Some children hurt themselves, parents think it’ s for attention
有些孩子伤害自己，父母却觉得他们只是博关注
Never been perfect, flaws been neglected
从来不完美，缺陷被忽视
Til somebody jumps off a building
直到有人从楼上跳下去
God damn that’ s what they called perfection
天呐，原来这就是他们说的“完美”
Tell me your heartbreak, tell me your pain
倾诉你的心碎，倾诉你的苦楚
Tell me about the mistakes you done made
和我聊聊你犯过的错
Tell me your secrets, tell me your days
坦白你的秘密，记录你的生活
Tell me about all those bitches you hate
在我身上刻下你憎恨的烂人们的名字吧