Mm, mm
There’s rain in the walls again
Mm, mm
I keep your coat on the kitchen chair
Like a small black cloud that forgot the air
The clock in the wall has a nervous mouth
It chews up noon and it spits night out
I tried to wash all the smoke from the sheets
But your goodbye learned to breathe in the bleach
Now every cup has a hairline moon
And every room hums slightly out of tune
I don’t want a clean kind of healing
I want the bruise to tell the truth
If I have to break to feel it
Let me break into something new
So I sing to the floorboards, “hold me down”
There’s a river in the ceiling and it’s getting loud
I’m not fine, I’m just fluent in disappearing
I smile with my teeth but my hands are hearing
All the words I never let arrive
Glass weather in my lungs tonight
If love is a house, then mine caught fire
But I walked out wearing the light
Wearing the light
Wearing the light
I was ash, I was rain
Now I’m learning my name
I found my name in a cardboard box
With the baby teeth and the broken locks
You drew a sun on an unpaid bill
Said, “Even hard days need color still”
I used to think that the dark was a door
Till I heard my pulse knocking under the floor
Now I make drums out of spoons and scars
Teach my shadow the shape of stars
I don’t want a soft little ending
I want the wound to open wide
If I have to lose the old me
Let her leave with the tide
So I sing to the floorboards, “hold me down”
There’s a river in the ceiling and it’s getting loud
I’m not fine, I’m just fluent in disappearing
I smile with my teeth but my hands are hearing
All the words I never let arrive
Glass weather in my lungs tonight
If love is a house, then mine caught fire
But I walked out wearing the light
No, I won’t be the ghost in the hallway
No, I won’t make a shrine out of pain
I can miss you and still choose morning
I can love you and loosen the chain
Hear that?
My heart is not a crime scene
It’s a garden after rain
It grows crooked, it grows quietly
It grows anyway
So I sing to the floorboards, “let me rise”
There’s a river in the ceiling but I learned its tide
I’m not fine, I’m a body remembering
I smile with my teeth and my hands start singing
All the words I finally let survive
Glass weather turning into silver light
If love is a house, then mine caught fire
But I walked out wearing the light
Wearing the light
Wearing the light
I was ash, I was rain
Now I’m learning my name
Mm, mm
There’s rain in the walls again
But it doesn’t sound the same