Lyrics: Toby Marlow/Lucy Moss
Music: Toby Marlow/Lucy Moss
Good food, good coffee, great conversation
I’m into good food, good coffee, great conversation
I’m into good food…
South London, born and bred, South London
South London, born and bred, South London
South London…
5’9
5’10
6’4
If it’s important!
5’9
5’10…
I like pineapple on pizza - sorry about it…
Travel-lover!
6’1
6’2
CANADIAN FLAG
…If it’s important
…sorry about it
Travel-lover!
Welcome to the
Meet Market
Is anyone buyin’ a quality guy in the market today?
Meet Market
I’m tasty and tender, a verified vendor, so come and say hey!
Meet Market
So you’re shopping local? Well, I’m a rare bloke, I live one mile away!
Meet Market
I’m good enough to eat so
I know I can meet
Somebody at the
MEET MARKET!
Now then, tell me what you think of my display
Well, okay
A picture of me working out to show me at my best
Incred
A picture of me laughing so they don’t know I’m depressed
I’m dead
Then three of me confirming that I’m hot
And then a meme from Gilmore Girls
OKAY YOU’RE PERFECT
I CAN’T COPE
I’M GONNA SCREAM
You go
So here I’ve gone for hunky sexy stubbly dude
Then four more just the same
Woah
Yeah the last one’s a nude
Okay. They’re great. But not really you?
Why not add some pics in dresses?
What?
Just one or two?
Show them an “authentic me”?????
You’ve clearly not frequented the
MEET MARKET
I’m looking to find a
Sausage to grind
A banger that’s not too bent
MEET MARKET
“No fats and no femme boys”
“No theys and no them boys
I just want a normal gent
MEET MARKET
Is that nail varnish?
Soz - not into garnish
Cos I’m one hundred percent
MASC 4 MASC
And I don’t like to eat meat
Without any
MEAT
When I’m shopping at the
MEET MARKET
Yikessss - well why don’t we have a look and see how we’re selling. Any likes?
Yeah! One boy liked me, how about you?
Ugh it sucks, everyone’s a pig
Let’s see! OH MY GOSH HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE HAVE LIKED YOU! Come on, take this little piggie to market with you!
Alright then, babe
What about him?
No
Him?
No
Oh my gosh HIM?!
Ew
Oh come on, Nancy, just match with a few
Of these guys, they’re so hot!
Mmm trust me, they’re not
GO ON!
Fine - “Hey”
They’re replying, yay!
Send pics of your melons!
That’s right, it’s pure hell inside the
MEET MARKET
Great bod, great face
Wanna come to my place?
No
Good, cos you’re a slut
MEET MARKET
Have you tried reading Nietzsche?
Maybe I could teach ya?
I have a philosophy degree
MEET MARKET
I’m the kinda guy I’m sure your Dad would adore
Well, he’s not around anymore
Daddy issues…?
SCORE!
MEET MARKET
Oh the dread is existential
But the shopping is essential
Though it’s rotten and it’s gross
Oh we gotta do our groceries at the
MEET MARKET
Let’s see who you’re chatting to
This guy,
Show me- oh god he’s
What? I think he’s pretty funny!
Hun, I hate say it, but he’s not
Okay, you’re right, but he’s pretty hot
He’s not as hot as you
That’s true - but what’ve I got to lose?
He’s such a snooze
Okay well what about you?
Mine’s boring and basic as well!
Oh nooo that sucks I’m sorry
Yeah he’s all like “ooooh where did you grow up?”
And I’m like ooh SPARE ME
Wait he’s only making conversation
One that’s really boring
Oliver, give him a chance
Er - no why should I be snoring WHEN I’D RATHER DANCE!!!!!!!!
He’s into you and he seems great
Why not just ask him on a date?
I know you’re scared, but if you ask it
You might not leave with an empty basket
Yeah I’ll go for someone who
Deep down I know I’m not into
Then moan about it when it’s done
Does that remind you of someone?
MEET MARKET
WE GOTTA MAKE A SALE
WE GOTTA SPARK A FIRE
BEFORE WE ALL GO STALE
BEFORE WE ALL EXPIRE
HERE AT THE MEET MARKET
MEET MARKET!