LOLA
Ladies, care to help Don out? Tell him what you want!
FEMALE WORKER
Me? I don’t need much. A bit of companionship. A mate.
A mate with… benefits.
TRISH
I like big… hands.
FEMALE WORKER
Oh, and affection.
TRISH
I like to bite.
PAT
I want sensitivity and compassion.
LOLA
Companionship, affection, sensitivity and compassion.
Traditionally female characteristics, wouldn’t you say?
DON
You’re off your trolley.
LOLA
Really?
Stand back
Let me tell you something
What a woman wants to see
Stand back
Mr. I-know-everything
But it’s what you blindly see.
What a woman wants
DON
Masculinity
PAT
What a man
LOLA
Sensitivity,
PAT
What a man
DON
In a fantasy
PAT
What a man
LOLA
What a woman wants
PAT
What a man
DON
A muscle to clutch
PAT
What a man
LOLA
Just a tender touch
DON
You don’t get out too much
LOLA
To know the smoothness of her skin
With a gentle caress
Feel the feathery quality of her dress
What separates a man like you
From a man like me
I’m a reflection, her protection
I’m her curious mystery
PAT
What a man
LOLA
What a woman
PAT
What a man
LOLA
What a woman
WOMAN 1
What a man what a man
LOLA
What a woman wants
WOMAN 2
What a man
PAT & WOMEN
What a man
What a man
TRISH
What a man
LOLA
What a woman
TRISH
What a man
LOLA
What a woman
TRISH, LAUREN & WOMAN 3
What a man what a man
LOLA
What a woman wants
WOMEN
What a man
DON
Come on, we all know what a bird really wants
is a rock solid —
LOLA
Commitment?
Look at me
Devilishly debonair
Look at you
Divinely dull, drab, and dumpy
DON
A woman wants
A man to give as much as she can take
Just like me
WOMEN
A libidinous lothario on the make
DON
Piss off.
LOLA
I have a challenge for you:
Write down what you think I need to do to be a real man.
And I’ll do the same for you. Whatever you tell me to do, I will have to do.
But, you will have to do the same for me. Deal?
DON
I ain’t wearin’ no poufy dress.
LOLA
Chickening out already?
WOMAN 2
What a man what a man
What a man what a man
What a man what a man
What a man what a man
What a man what a man
LOLA (WOMAN 2)
What a woman wants (WOMAN 2: What a man What a man)
(WOMEN: What a man what a man What a man what a
man What a man what a man What a man what a man)
What a woman wants (WOMEN: What a man what a man What a man what a man)
What a woman wants (WOMEN: What a man what a man What a
man what a man What a man What a man what a man What a man what a man)
What a woman (WOMEN: What a man what a man)
What a woman (WOMEN: What a man what a man)
What a woman wants (WOMEN: What a man)
(WOMEN: What a man what a man What a man what a man)
Is me (WOMEN: What a man what a man What a man what a man)
What a woman wants (WOMEN: What a man what a man What
a man what a man What a man)
LOLA
You’re on!
WOMEN
What a man